Update on this morning's story....

Here are the new headlines on the Montgomery Advertiser's web site as of 3:50 pm:

"Police seek suspect in store holdup"

"Prominent civil rights figure Inez J. Baskin dies"

And in the "Latest News Updates" section:

"Troy's Robinson named ABCA All-American"

"Judge Increases Siegelman's sentencing range"

"Performers at 2007 Alabama National Fair announced"

"AU football adds home and home series with Clemson for 2010, 2011"

"Today's Gas Guage Report"

"A church pays tribute, now time to move forward"

"Riley asks citizens to pray for rain"

"Man charged in shootings"

"School facilities plan facing year-long delay"

.......and still no report on home invasions by five masked men with guns, no helicoptors, man hunts, or other home robberies.........hhhhhmmmmmmmmmmm.....................

Why isn't this story in the Montgomery Advertiser?

WSFA has reported on three home invasions/robberies in East Montgomery (also known as "the good side of town") that occurred on Tuesday and Wednesday.

In one instance, five armed men forced their way into a house demanding to know where the safe deposit was. They taped the man's ankles with duct tape as they held him down on the ground.

It was enough for the Montgomery Police Department to call in helicoptors, and enough to be a big story on WSFA's newscast, but not enough to be reported in the Montgomery Advertiser newspaper.

As of 10:27 am today, the top headlines are (in order):

"State swaps old high court building for parking"

"Audits allege sloppy records, corruption"

"Jackson Hospital defends low rank in heart attack study"

In the "Latest News Updates section, the headlines are (in order):

"State Farmers Market Day set for July 14"

"ASF to announce Young Southern Writers' Project finalists on
Saturday"

"Eve's Circle summer camp accepting teenage girls"

"Five places to go! today"

"Pump Patrol: Today's Gas Prices"

"Good Morning Central Alabama"

When a story happens in your town that seems like it was taken from a scene in Lethal Weapon 2, and helicopters are called in, the people tend to be more concerned with this than State Farmers Market Day. Details, please.

Ann Coulter's hate knows no bounds...not even her adam's apple can stop it

Yes, that was a cheap shot by mentioning Ann's adam's apple, but she should be used to cheap shots, and cheapness in general. After all, she's made a career out of it.

Elizabeth Edwards, wife if presidential candidate John Edwards, called in to MSNBC while Ann Coutler was being interviewd by Chris Matthews, and she politely asked Coulter to stop using personal attacks (you know, like when Ann called John Edwards a 'fag'.....stuff like that). While a noble endeavor, it's similar to asking a crackhead not to smoke crack - it's probably not going to happen.

If there was any doubt that Ann Coulter was a vile, hateful woman (some may speculate on my use of the word "woman" as the adam's apple has already been mentioned), it should disappear. Notice, in the transcript below, the hatred and lies that spew forth from Coulter. Just to be clear, "M" is for Matthews, "E" is for Edwards and "C" could be a four-letter word, but we'll stick with 'Coulter' to keep it somewhat nice:

M: You know who’s on the line? Someone to respond to what you said about
Edwards yesterday morning. Elizabeth Edwards. She wanted to call in today, we
said she could. Elizabeth Edwards, go on the line. You’re on the line with Ann
Coulter.

E: Hello Chris.

M: Do you want to say something directly to the person who’s with me?

E: I’m calling — you know, in the south, when someone does something
that displeases us, we want to ask them politely to stop doing it. I would like
to ask Ann Coulter to — if she wants to debate on issues, on positions — we
certainly disagree with nearly everything she said on your show today — but it
is quite another matter for these personal attacks. The things that she has said
over the years, not just about John but about other candidates, lowers our
political dialogue precisely at the time that we need to raise it. So I want to
use the opportunity, which I don’t get much because Ann and I don’t hang out
with the same people…

C: I don’t have enough money.

E: …to ask her politely stop the personal attacks.

C: Okay, so I made a joke, let’s see, six months ago, and as you point
out, they have been raising money off of it for six months since then.

M: But this is yesterday morning, what you said about him.

C: I didn’t say anything about him, actually, either time.

E: But that — Ann, Ann, you know that’s not true, and once more, this
has been going on for some time.

C: And I don’t mind you trying to raise money. It’s better this than
giving $50,000 speeches to the poor just to use my name on the webpages. But as
for a debate with me, yeah, sure. Yeah, we’ll have a debate.

E: I’m asking you politely to stop, to stop personal attacks –

C: How about you stop raising money on your web page then? No, you
don’t have to because I don’t mind.

E: I did not start with that. You had a column a number of years ago
where you suggested — wait till I finish talking please…

C: Okay, the wife of a presidential candidate is calling in asking me
to stop speaking.

M: Let her finish the point. Let her finish the point.

C: You’re asking me to stop speaking? “Stop writing your columns. Stop
writing your books.”

M: Ann, please.

E: You had a column several years ago which made fun of the moment of
Charlie Dean’s death and suggested that my husband had a bumper sticker on the
back of his car saying, “Ask me about my dead son.” This is not legitimate
political dialogue.

C: This is now three years ago.

E: It debases political dialogue. It drives people away from the
process. We can’t have a debate about the issues.

C: Yeah, why isn’t John Edwards making this call?

M: Well, do you want to respond? We’ll end the conversation.

E: I haven’t talked to John about this call. I’m making the call as a
mother. I’m the mother of that boy who died. My children participate — these
young people behind you are the age of my children. You’re asking them to
participate in a dialogue that is based on hatefulness and ugliness instead of
on the issues, and I don’t think that’s serving them or this country very well.
[Applause]

M: Thank you very much Elizabeth. You wanna respond? You have all the
time in the world to respond.

C: I think we heard all we need to hear. The wife of a presidential
candidate is asking me to stop speaking. No.

M: No, she asked you to stop being so negative to people
individually.

C: Right, as opposed to bankrupting doctors by giving a schyster Las
Vegas routine in front of juries based on science — wait, you said I’d have as
long as I would have, then you instantly interrupt me.

M: Go ahead, go ahead.

C: As I was saying, doing these psychic routines in front of illiterate
juries to bankrupt doctors who now can’t deliver babies, and to charge a poverty
group $50,000 for a speech. Don’t talk to me about how to use language.

M: Elizabeth?

E: …the language of hate, and I’m going to ask you again to politely
stop using personal attacks as part of your dialogue.

C: Okay, I’ll stop writing books.

E: If you can’t write them without them, that is fine.

M: Why do you call out Hillary’s chubby legs in your book? Why do you —
this may fall under the category of personal attacks, I don’t know, but why do
you do that? Why do you talkabout Monica Lewinsky’s chubbiness? If she were
skinny, would it have been okay?

C: Um, I don’t know, read the sentence.

E: I read the whole sentence. I couldn’t feel the context.

C: Well you have to give it to me and I could explain.

E: Why do you make fun of Hillary’s chubby legs?

C: I don’t know, you’re going to have to give me the sentence.

M: It’s in the afterword of your book, I just read it this morning.

C: Then read the sentence.

M: We’ll be back and read the entire sentence. We’ll come right back. I
don’t know why we’re reading — the full intellectual context will be coming in
just a moment.

Think Progress has the above transcript and a video of the exchange.

Time's Joe Klein talks about Glenn Beck....and it's great

CNN Headline News' Glenn Beck will be the guest host for CNN's Paula Zahn Now for the week starting on July 2, and Time Magazine's Joe Klein posted some comments on his blog about the choice of host.

Klein said:

The world is a bit of a mess right now and CNN gives us Glenn Beck? Please, Mr.
Parsons, sir, is this any way to show respect for your--our--viewers? Can't we,
like, try a week of smart? See how that works? Just asking. Your Devoted
Employee, Joe Klein.

Quick note about Charles Bishop being raised in the woods....

I found a source, besides the highly reliable friend who sent me the original email about Alabama Senator Charles Bishop being raised in the woods.

This is from an opinion piece that appeared in The Dothan Eagle titled, "The Pugilist":

"Alabama would be better off if [Bishop] simply stayed [in Walker
County] and resigned his senate seat. Bishop explained his action saying
that was how he learned to act as a child 'raised in the woods of
Arkansas.'

'People don’t say that about your mom,' he said.

Bishop has apparently never shed his backwoods Arkansas ruffian nature.
At 69 years old, it’s likely he never will.

Fisticuffs have no place in Alabama’s legislative chambers.

Neither does Charles Bishop, the pugilist."

Further proof that you can take the redneck out of the woods, but you can't take the woods out of the redneck. (And apparently, you can then put the redneck's antics on national TV and make his new home state the laughing stock of the rest of the country.)

Pat Robertson.....(sigh).....again.....

Pat Robertson, one of the Christian right's biggest fearmongerers, is attacking other religions again, not that it should surprise anyone, but really, if you're going to make an argument against another religion, at least use some reason, common sense, or maybe, just maybe, some facts.

This is from the June 12 edition of The 700 Club, as documented by Media Matters. I'll put my statements in bold and in [brackets] just for clarification. Now, he is talking about some Muslims in Minneapolis who are asking for religious accomodations at work and/or school.

Said Robertson, "The question would be, ladies and gentlemen, if a million Christians want to go to Saudi Arabia and say, 'We want to pray,' you can't pray in Saudi Arabia. You can't have religious literature in Saudi Arabia. You can't get together in Bible study groups in Saudi Arabia. As far as having special places for foot-washing and all that, no way. You will abide by Sharia law because they're in control."

[This is an easy one, Pat. Saudi Arabia doesn't have a First Amendment. There, that wasn't so hard, now was it? Luckily, here in America, we have a First Amendment which protects our freedom of religion.... and note that is says, "religion" and not "Christianity" as you and your friends like to argue about this being a "Christian nation" and all.]

"Ladies and gentlemen, we have to recognize that Islam is not a religion. It is a worldwide political movement meant on domination of the world. And it is meant to subjugate all people under Islamic law."

[Well thanks for clearing that one up. I'm sure all of the non-violent Muslims in the world who don't appreciate being grouped with the fringe minority (equal to Olympic bomber Eric Rudolph being the representative for all Christians) will be glad to know that.]

"In the Quran, it says it very clearly. There are two spheres. One is the Dar al-Harb, which is the realm of war. The other is Dar al-Islam, which is that part that's under submission to Islam."

[Thanks for providing chapter and verse on your Qur'an quote, Pat. Now I can look that up for myself, huh? And wouldn't the opposite of war be peace? And doesn't Islam actually mean "peace"? Kind of like the translation of the word "Allah" is "God." Hmmmm...interesting.]

"There is no middle ground. You're either at war or you're under submission. Now, that's the way they think."

[Really? Thanks for your in-depth mental analysis of millions of people. ]

"Now, sure, over here, you've got Islam light and you've got all these various things, but the idea is we don't want just accommodation, we want to take over and we want to impose Sharia on you."

[Islam light? So in one sitting, Islam has gone from a religion to a political movement to a beer? And which version of Sharia law do they want to impose, Pat? The Sunni version? The Shia version? If you don't know that there is a difference, you're not alone - just ask the "planners" (if you could use that term) of the Iraq war.]

"And before long, ladies are going to be dressed in burqas and whatever garments they would put on them, and next thing you know, men are going to be allowed to have wife-beating and you'll be beheading adulterers and so on and so forth."

[Oh, like you wouldn't want to see a beheaded adulterer, Pat.]

"That's Saudi Arabia. We don't want that here in America. If they don't like it here in America, then let them go to Saudi Arabia, to Kuwait, to Yemen, to all those wonderful nations around the Middle East."

[Hope you all learned something today, folks, besides the fact that Pat Robertson is nuts.]

What's the purpose of a headline?

Really, what's the purpose of a headline? Shouldn't it give the main part of the story, almost like a one-sentence overview? That's what one would think, anyway.

I got an email telling me about Alabama Senator Charles Bishop apologizing for the fight that took place on the floor of the Alabama Senate last week. The email said that Bishop was on the radio, and in true Alabama fashion, started his apology with something to the effect of, "Well, being raised in the woods...."

So, I go to Google to try to find some information on it, maybe a story about it, maybe a direct quote.

I searched for "Charles Bishop" under the "news" category. Couldn't find anything in regards to the email I received. So I searched for "Charles Bishop woods," and these are some of the headlines from the first page of the Google "news" category:

"Session ends with a bang" (Times Daily)
"Fili-busted: Senate comes to blows" (Tuscaloosa News)
"Bishop punches Barron in Senate Scuffle" (Tuscaloosa News)
"Ala. Lawmaker Punches Senate Colleague" (Philadelphia Daily News and Forbes)

...and what headline does Fox "News" choose to run?
The Associated Press one that simply says, "Republican Punches Democrat in Alabama." Of course, once you click on the story, the full headlines reads, "Republican Punches Democrat in Alabama Senate Chamber."

So while most news organizations are focusing on the fact that two Senators got in an actual fist fight on the Senate floor, Fox "News" picks the AP headline that basically says that a Republican punched a Democrat, which really, could happen just as easily in a bar on a late Friday night after Redneck Billy Bob's 3rd Keystone Light (not including the ones he drank in his truck on the way to the bar).

So just when you thought a story couldn't get more sensationalized, leave it to Fox "News" (with a little help from the AP).

But really, congrats to Alabama's legislature for making national news. We had been out of the spotlight for awhile anyway, and Jay Leno needed a few more jokes.

Have you punched your state senator today?

Are you sick and tired of the person who was elected to represent you? Are you tired of your elected representative not standing up to someone else's elected representative? If this is you, then it's time to take action and punch your state senator.

Alabama made national news again - although this time it wasn't for a natural disaster......well, considering that it has to do with one Alabama State Senator punching another Alabama State Senator, that might still be considered a 'natural disaster' by some.

Senator Charles Bishop (R, Jasper....but formerly D, Jasper, some years ago, from what I understand), got called a S.O.B. - most likely prounounced something like "SumBitch" - by Senator Lowell Barron (D, Fyffe).

The words resulted in Bishop punching Barron in the head, and aside from the 62% pay raise the senate gave themselves this year, this has been the only action seen during this legislative session.

The fight marked the end of the legislative session, and each senator involved went home with their now-$50,000 salary for their part-time job, proving that here in Alabama, we truly don't get what we pay for.

Flack for McCain.....or is it Flak?

Presidential candidate John McCain is giving spelling lessons...

Barack Obama, another presidential candidate, recently released a statement saying that the course we are on in Iraq is not working, citing John McCain's recent visit to a Baghdad market as evidence. Obama said that "the fact that Senator McCain required a flack jacket" (as well as armed soldiers and helicopters, if you remember) was a "reflection" of the wrong course in Iraq.

McCain bounced back with a statement that said, "By the way, Senator Obama, it's a 'flak' jacket, not a 'flack' jacket."

Of course, McCain's statement was supposed to be an I-wore-the-uniform-and-you-didn't kind of thing, but alas, McCain's statement has been debunked, not by Wikipedia, but by Webster's New World Dictionary, 3rd College Edition.

As MSNBC's Mike Viqueira points out, "[The Dictionary] says actually that "flack" -- F-L-C-K [sic] -- setting the record straight here -- is a noun, and it's alternative to the spelling of "flak" -- F-L-A-K."

Oh, and as Media Matters points out, the phrase "flack jacket" (with a "c") is used on multiple government web sites.

But thanks, Senator McCain, for the attempted spelling lesson.

Death of a Salesman: Jerry Falwell - at the Capital City Free Press

My newest article about the late Jerry Falwell is up early at the Capital City Free Press.

It's titled, "Death of a Salesman: Jerry Falwell."

Here is an excerpt:

"A person's death does not change the way someone chose to live their life,
and while Falwell may have done some good things, he made himself known for the
bad... and he did most of it in the name of Christ."

Two stories that get a great big WTF?!

Story #1:

A Liberty University student has been arrested for making bombs. Mark David Uhl was in the Army ROTC at Jerry Falwell's Liberty University, and he told a family member that he made bombs and planned to attend Jerry Falwell's funeral.

According to police, the bombs were not to harm the Falwell family or disrupt the funeral, but may have been a response to the [insert your favorite 'insane' adjective here] members of Westboro Baptist Church who had planned to protest at Falwell's funeral. You may have heard of Westboro Baptist Church, home of the Reverend (to misuse that word) Fred Phelps, and the creators of the 'GodHatesFags' web site.

According to the Associated Press, "The Kansas-based Westboro Baptist Church sent about a dozen members to protest across the street from the funeral, claiming Falwell was a friend to gays. The group also has picketed soldiers' burials, claiming the deaths are God's punishment for a nation that supports homosexuality."

So what we learn here, kids, is that news travels slow to Westboro Baptist. In fact, it apparently doesn't travel at all because anyone with two brain cells knows that Falwell was no friend to gays. After all, it was Falwell, who said in 1997 that "gay folks would just as soon kill you as look at you."

If stupidity was contagious, then Westboro Baptist should have been quarantined long ago.

Oh, and thanks to Uhl for proving that religious fundamentalism isn't just for Muslims.

Story #2:

If you've been wondering what David Duke's racist brethren have been up to, wonder no more, for fliers have recently appeared in a predominantly black neighborhood in Wetumpka, Alabama.

Said fliers include a news story about Channon Christian and Christopher Newsom, two whites who were gruesomly tortured and mutilated by five black suspects. The creator of the flier claims that the national media did not cover the story because the victims were white and asked why Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton and Morris Dees (of the Southern Poverty Law Center) did not rush to the defense of the victims' families.

Of course, the flier asks the readers to visit stormfront.org and, of course, davidduke.com.

So now, we're left to wonder if this is just the beginning of something more, and if Duke will crawl out from the shadows to promote more closed-mindedness and bigotry.

According to Wetumpka police, they know about the flier, but cannot do anything because, so far, no crime has been committed. Let's hope a crime doesn't happen.

Michael Moore investigated for trip to Cuba

If you haven't heard the news, Michael Moore, the Oscar-winning filmmaker behind "Bowling for Columbine" and "Fahrenheit 9/11" is now under investigation for a trip he made to Cuba while filming his new movie "Sicko."

According to a post on www.michaelmoore.com, Moore states that Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson initiated the investigation into his trip because of trade embargoes with Cuba and travel laws that prohibit average citizens from traveling to Cuba. However, Moore also states that "The law does not prohibit anyone from exercising their first amendment right of a free press and documentaries are protected works of journalism."

Moore's new movie examines the U.S. health care industry, and he was in Cuba filming part of the movie about the health care involving some 9/11 rescue workers.

"Sicko" debuts at the Cannes Film Festival this Saturday and hits theaters June 29.

Letter-to-the-editor about my Don Imus article

Well, it appears my Don Imus article in the Capital City Free Press has caused a little controversy, though luckily, not the same level of controversy as Don Imus himself.

A letter-to-the-editor came in saying that Imus should have been fired for the very same reason that I said he should not have been fired.

Read the letter here.

Also, for those that missed it, I was a guest on 107.1 FM this past Friday at noon. I was on there to talk about issues ranging from Don Imus, my role at the Capital City Free Press, an entertainer's responsibility in the media and my alter-ego as the singer/guitarist for the band Marsellus.

(If you've ever wondered why my blog doesn't talk about Marsellus often, it's because I keep my politics and my music separate....so even if you hate me and think I'm a dirty liberal, please feel free to continue enjoying the non-political music of Marsellus. Thanks.)

Awwww, the president misses the blank checks

The President is threatening to veto a war spending bill that calls for a timetable to get out of Iraq. I guess it's a lot different when Congress isn't just writing you a blank check to spend and spend and spend, and then accuse Democrats of being "tax and spend," and spend and spend and spend.

Oh, but now there are stipulations, a "yes, we will fund the troops, and then they can come home." And Bush isn't having it, threatening to dust off his "veto pen" - you know, the pen that never got used except for that one time he wanted to put a stop to scientific research on embryonic stem cells because throwing the unused stem cells in a dumpster is the moral high ground to trying to cure alzheimers or parkinsons, or hell, even cancer.

Let's see if we can get through the next year and a half without Bush screwing up more of the world.

News sure travels slow to Ashburn, GA

Maybe someone should fire the local Pony Express in Ashburn, Georgia.

2007 marks the first year that Turner County High School, located in Ashburn, will have one official prom - with *GASP* both whites and blacks in attendance.

When schools integrated, to the chagrin of Alabama's old governor George Wallace, the memo apparently got lost on the way to the sticks of Turner County, but luckily, one Pony Express employee found an old telegraph message that got stuck between the water fountain marked "whites" and the water fountain marked "coloreds."

Luckily, Turner County High teaches students the power of logical thought, as shown with a statement by former student Mindy Bryan, who attended a segregated prom in 19......no, 2001, yeah, that's the correct year. Said Bryan, "There was not anybody that I can remember that was black...The white people have theirs, and the black people have theirs. It's nothing racial at all."

While it is safe to say that Bryan is not up for any awards involving the word "genius," how the hell is a segregated prom not "racial at all"? I mean, that one gets a great big "holy what-the-fuck, Batman?"

Luckily, the 213 upperclassmen decided that they were going to pretend that we were actually living in the year 2007, rather than some spin-off of "Back to the Future" starring Jim Crowe, and should be congratulated on getting the students to trade in their horse-and-buggies for a 1970's Ford pickup.

Hey at this rate, maybe they'll be in a Toyota Prius era by the time the flying car is invented.

The firing of Don Imus.....is it May already?

My newest article at the Capital City Free Press, which would normally be out on the first of May, has been posted early.

It is titled, "Why Don Imus should not have been fired." Rather than give an excerpt like I normally do, I say just go read it.

Here is the link.

John McCain walks safely through Baghdad...with 100 soldiers, helicopters, etc...and Chuck Norris?

Arizona's own Senator John McCain took a stroll through a Baghdad market recently, in order to demonstrate how Americans are "not getting the full picture" of Iraq.

McCain has said that there "are neighborhoods in Baghdad where you and I could walk through those neighborhoods, today," and wanted his stroll through the market to prove that you can "walk freely" in some areas of Baghdad.

However, to walk freely, you must walk just as John McCain did - with 100 armed soldiers, three Blackhawk helicopters, two Apache gunships overhead and a bullet-proof vest. And really, who doesn't have 100 armed soldiers, 5 armed helicopters and a bullet-proof vest when they go grocery shopping or to the mall? I mean, that's just standard even in America, right? Never leave home without 'em....just like American Express.

Not so ironically, however, McCain's little shopping trip did take place on April Fool's Day.

From the New York Times: "'What are they talking about?' Ali Jassim Faiyed, the owner of an electrical appliances shop in the market, said Monday. 'The security procedures were abnormal!'"

Mr. Faiyed added, "They paralyzed the market when they came," and, "This was only for the media," and, "This will not change anything."

Maybe McCain would have been just as safe travelling with Chuck Norris - after all, he's now been named an "honorary Marine."

On Months, Days and Weeks

April's column is up at the Capital City Free Press. Titled, "On Months, Days and Weeks," I wrote about the fourth anniversary of the Iraq War.

Excerpt:

"'Victory means exit strategy, and it's important for the president to
explain to us what the exit strategy is.' If only Bush would heed this quote...
after all, he is the one that said it. The date was April 9, 1999 and he was
talking about Kosovo."

Read the entire article here.

AP: Priests to Purify Site After Bush Visit

From the Associated Press:

"'That a person like (Bush), with the persecution of our migrant brothers in the
United States, with the wars he has provoked, is going to walk in our sacred
lands, is an offense for the Mayan people and their culture,' Juan Tiney, the
director of a Mayan nongovernmental organization with close ties to Mayan
religious and political leaders, said Thursday."

So a Mayan priest will purify the site, after Bush's visit, to eliminate "bad spirits" so their ancestors can rest. See, now Bush is harassing the dead, as well as the living.

Thoughts on the UK pullout from Iraq....

"UK pullout from Iraq a 'sign of success'" is up at the Capital City Free Press. In this column, I ask some questions about how this pullout is being spun.

Excerpt:

"If the British withdrawing troops from Iraq is a 'sign of success,' then
what is sending more than 20,000 American troops to Iraq? And why aren't our
British allies moving troops from Basra to Baghdad to support America in its
attempt to stabilize the area?

Read the entire article here.